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Addiction

 

                                                                                        Addiction                                                        

      As I sit here in this deep, dark addictive state thinking about how my life is filled with so many years of depressive thoughts and lots of despair ... but yet I still do not care.                                                                                          

   I’m a human with emotions.. some positive and some negative ones... some of them on display while others are on some ice, yet every time I try I just cannot be nice.

             I met and fell in love; only to discover that my lover was indeed the devil undercover who introduced me to drugs... and shortly thereafter I started hanging out with wanna-be-thugs that were always, strung out on drugs.  

      The life I was living alongside the things I was doing was leading me to, a journey straight to hell ... while on the streets I was strung out not eating or sleeping as well as feeling like my life has no meaning and was just then that I realized, I don’t want to live like this anymore... so I went to the hospital and walked through the door, and as I fell to the floor I started repeating over...and...over again, no more...no more.

             As I sit here in this dreadful place, I start thinking about committing suicide, while eating what could possibly be my last meal... I came to the conclusion that I’m completely broken and want to heal. 

      While I walked through my hellish journey, there were many times I stumbled and fell, as I lay there I’m starting to sink further and further into despair and that’s when it hit me that I am addicted, and that thought left me feeling confused...and...conflicted.

             I finally made the call, but getting clean and sober is definitely a battle for all…..with so many hurdles and jumps I faced…. I often chose to stay in the same place, but then I gradually started the road to my recovery at a slow and steady pace.

       The choices I made, allowed me to love myself and my life ... and I was able to turn my addiction into a positive remission while learning that living life is far….. more valuable than addiction.

                                                    

                                     

                                                                                                                                   

                                                                     

Copyright © Bobbiejo Schlageter 2018

Form of Poetry

Free verse

Author: Bobbiejo Schlageter
Hello, my name is Bobbiejo and I write poetry, all my poems are about my personal experiences with my ex-addiction, recovery process and sobriety, my aim is to reach out to others through my poems that is struggling with addiction to inspire them. I hope that you enjoy reading my poems as much as I enjoy writing them.

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