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Famous Humorous Quotations

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"The only way I can make a Jim Carrey face is through Novocain at the dentists office."
by Sasha Azevedo
"The only people flying to Europe will be terrorists, so it will be, Will you be sitting in armed or unarmed?"
by Anonymous
"The storm starts, when the drops start dropping When the drops stop dropping then the storm starts stopping."
by Anonymous
"There are two insults no human being will endure: that he has no sense of humor, and that he has never known trouble"
by Sinclair Lewis
"What some people invent the rest enlarge."
by Anonymous
"Womens humor is part of the revolution."
by Dale Spender
"Chemistry is important and I think humor is important. We're looking for somebody who can do the interviews and also the hot topics at the beginning of the show."
by Barbara Walters
"But now, says the Once-ler, now that you're here, the word of the Lorax seems perfectly clear. UNLESS someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not."
by Anonymous
"But we are at war, and we here at THE DAILY SHOW will do our best to keep you informed of any late-breaking...humor we can find. Of course, our show is obviously at a disadvantage compared to the many news sources that we're competing with at a disadvantage in several respects. For one thing, we are fake. They are not. So in terms of credibility we are, well, oddly enough, actually about even. We're about even."
by Jon Stewart
"He does have, underneath a sort of serious exterior, a really wonderful sense of humor, ... It rarely shows itself in the trial lawyer mode, but it certainly does in personal relationships."
by George Freeman
"I believe that economists put decimal points in their forecasts to show they have a sense of humor."
by William Simms
"Humor results when society says you can't scratch certain things in public, but they itch in public."
by Tom Walsh
"Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritation and resentments slip away, and a sunny spirit takes their place."
by Anonymous
"Humor is something that thrives between man's aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth."
by Victor Borge
"Humor is my mechanism for dealing with the hard reality of the world."
by Dick Skrinjar
"I can imagine no more comfortable frame of mind for the conduct of life than a humorous resignation."
by W. Somerset Maugham
"I saw Sharp Humor break sharp so I just followed him."
by Edgar Prado
"Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he isn't. A sense of humor was provided to console him for what he is."
by Horace Walpole
"It's a very savage kind of humor, it comes out of a great deal of pain."
by Martin Scorsese
"Learning music by reading about it is like making love by mail."
by Luciano Pavarotti
"Mickey Mouse to a three-year-old is a six-foot-tall RAT!"
by Anonymous
"Managing to have a sense of humor makes it a lot easier to manage people"
by Steve Wilson
"Oh, the humor! It's hysterical. And it's smart and goofy at the same time, kind of like a Neil Simon play or a Mel Brooks movie. I read it over and over again, and it changed me in the way of storytelling, seeing things differently."
by Rosie Perez
"Never say a humorous thing to a man who does not possess humor. He will always use it in evidence against you."
by Herbert Tree
"People had a habit of looking at me as if I were some kind of mirror instead of a person. They didn't see me, they saw their own lewd thoughts, then they white-masked themselves by calling me the lewd one."
by Anonymous
"Not here not there not anywhere!"
by Anonymous
"One should never risk a joke, even of the mildest and most unexceptional charters, except among people of culture and wit."
by Jean Bruyere
"Just tell yourself, Duckie, your real quite lucky."
by Anonymous
"Keep your sense of humor. There's enough stress in the rest of your life to let bad shots ruin a game you're supposed to enjoy."
by Amy Alcott
"I'm not much for screaming or yelling. Sometimes I use humor, sometimes I get real blunt. I'm probably not the easiest person to play for."
by Karl Smesko
"I hope you're all Republicans."
by Ronald Reagan
"If you really look at humor, that's what most of it is anyway. Somebody wisecracking at somebody else. Putting them down. If you look at all the sitcoms, that's all sitcoms are today. Things never change. Sardonic, sarcastic humor is always prevalent. It's hard to do something funny without being that way. It's classier if you didn't have to resort to it, I think."
by Johnny Hart
"Humor is a whisper from the soul, imploring mind and body to relax, let go and be at peace again."
by Source Unknown
"Everybody enjoys being around him. He's got a great sense of humor and can always make people laugh."
by Jeff Tedford
"I want to grow old without facelifts... I want to have the courage to be loyal to the face I've made. Sometimes I think it would be easier to avoid old age, to die young, but then you'd never complete your life, would you? You'd never wholly know you."
by Anonymous
"He is just a gem of a guy. A fabulous sense of humor."
by Bruce Hensley
"At one point, I thought that maybe humor was the best way to deal with it. I figured maybe I should get 12 old Jewish comedians, you know, Mel Brooks and Carl Reiner, to sit around a table and have them riff off 'The Protocols."
by Marc Levin
"Big Z, little Z, what begins with Z? I do. I'm a zizzer zazzer zuzz, as you can plainly see."
by Anonymous
"America is not only big and rich, it is mysterious and its capacity for the humorous or ironical concealment of its interests matches that of the legendary inscrutable Chinese."
by David Riesman
"I have never examined the subject of humor until now. I am surprised to find how much ground it covers. I have got its divisions and frontiers down on a piece of paper. I find it defined as a production of the brain, as the power of the brain to produce something humorous, and the capacity of percieving humor."
by Mark Twain
"I have often been downcast, but never in despair I regard our hiding as a dangerous adventure, romantic and interesting at the same time. In my diary I treat all the privations as amusing. I have made up my mind now to lead a different life from other girls and, later on, different from ordinary housewives. My start has been so very full of interest, and that is the sole reason why I have to laugh at the humorous side of the most dangerous moments."
by Anne Frank
"I really like the Observer. I think I'd love to have a column with a broad reach that would enable me to do some proper reporting, but keep it on sort of a humorous level. I've always had a very happy experience writing for them."
by Toby Young
"In order to find a good quotation in a dictionary of humorous quotations, I didn't leave any stone unturned."
by B. J. Gupta
"The humorous man recognizes that absolute purity, absolute justice, absolute logic and perfection are beyond human achievement and that men have been able to live happily for thousands of years in a state of genial frailty."
by Brooks Atkinson
"An emotional man may possess no humor, but a humorous man usually has deep pockets of emotion, sometimes tucked away or forgotten."
by Constance Rourke
"Get well cards have become so humorous that if you don't get sick you're missing half the fun."
by Flip Wilson
"A clever, imagination, humorous request can open closed doors and closed minds."
by Percy Ross
"Never say a humorous thing to a man who does not possess humour. He will always use it in evidence against you."
by Herbert Beerbohm, Sir


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