Last week, Angela; an older friend of mine, unexpectedly told me in one of our usual banters that she doesn't feel successful. That cut right through me as it does whenever I hear certain set of people say that. Often times, I choose not to comment but without a doubt, I inwardly ask, "Well, is it not said that success has many fathers? Why is this person not a father (or mother as it were) despite seemingly having the criteria?" Angela's self-labelled failure resonated my question. This is someone whom most people would consider successful because she holds a highly esteemed position in a reputable organization, has fleet of workers running around at the snap of her fingers and often buys the latest design of stilettos. Dare anyone say she's not successful? So, why does she not feel likewise? We talked about it and what the barometer of success should really be. The result made me solidify the fact that success has many fathers, but not as many as it could have had.
A lot of people out there have no strong grasp as to what is called success. This owes to the socially biased construct of what the metrics to success is. Given the fact that the world has cultured success to a stereotyped signature, majority therefore live in dissatisfaction and struggle to win the rat race.
Let me quickly throw one of life's big questions at you. ''Are you successful?"
It would be wise not to give an immediate response because you can't answer what you have not defined. However, reflecting deeply and truthfully on it would give you one of these revelations: either you are already successful/becoming successful or you have been dwelling on the wrong meaning of success.
Only a narrow-minded individual would believe what the world defines as success. This is solely because success is a state of mind. You are successful when you are living by your own algorithms of success. This is the point where I refer back to Angela. People around her might only see a successful woman by the lens of financial sufficiency and status/power. But the real question is, who does Angela see when she looks at herself in the mirror? Is her definition of success in correspondence with what she has and where she is?
A number of people out there slave away in the wrong direction. They work vigorously on projects that do not bring the inner peace and fulfillment all in the need to achieve success. They dance to the tune of outrageously demanding bosses in order validate a promotion that gives a status quo of success. But in all honesty, there is nothing more pathetic than an attractive effort wasted on what should not have been done at all in the first place.
Success has many fathers. These are the fathers that have strongly willed it in their definition but it could have more fathers if people had a self-definition of success.